Happiest Baby on the Block - Book Review

“The happiest Baby on the Block” is the national Best seller book authored by Dr. Harvey Karp, M.D. Dr. Karp is an assistant professor of pediatrics at UCLA School of Medicine. With his rich experience of over 30 years, he has taught thousands of parents his secrets for making children happy. Published by Bantam in June 2002, it was copy righted in 2002 by “The Happiest Baby, Inc.”  The international standard book number of “The happiest Baby on the Block” is ISBN 978-0-553-38146-7 and is priced at $15. The book is aimed at the new ways to calm crying of the newborn and help it sleep longer.

This book has been written in a conversational style. Dr. Karp with his expertise in child development, child’s health and environment and knowledge on breast feeding, has tried to incorporate these information to the new parents, working moms and the like so that they need not have to be frustrated when their new born acts cranky and also enjoy the presence of the angel- the greatest gift. It has been found helpful by many a pediatricians across America and new parents. It has lots of cartoon like drawings and parent’s testimonials. The whole book has been talking about 4 basic principles – The Missing 4^th Trimester, The Calming Reflex, The 5 S’s and The Cuddle Cure which soothes the baby and puts it to longer hours of sleep.

The Missing 4^th Trimester: The new born having been in the womb for 3 trimesters, quite safe and secure, faces a lot of difficulty in adjusting to the new world and here Dr. Karp teaches the parent how to recreate the womb like atmosphere even outside the womb for 3 months, which he calls as the 4^th trimester. After which it establishes relations by its heavenly smiles and glows of its eyes. Starts cooing for its needs.

The Calming Reflex: The babies are born with an “off switch” of calming so that it works like an automatic reset switch to stop crying in the first few months of life.

The 5 S’s: Dr. Karp has extensively discussed about the following 5 S’s and also detailed as to How and Why and supplemented with drawings.

1.      Swaddling: The calming effect starts by stopping the Moro reflex like hand jerking, flailing etc. It makes the baby feel the warmth of the mother’s womb and feels secured.

2.      Side/Stomach Position: Laying the baby on their side or placing them in arms on their stomach while making them to sleep, prevents them from feeling that they are falling.

3.      Shushing: Sssssshing stimulates the sound of the womb which the baby is very familiar and the baby psychologically relaxes and it has to be done as loud as the baby cries so that the baby calms down and relaxes easily.

4.      Swinging: Supporting the baby’s head and neck and wiggling its head with fast, tiny movements, relaxes the baby.  Once it is relaxed, can be switched to slower swinging motions.

5.      Sucking: The pacifier works amazing and soothes the baby. It can be weaned after 3 months.

The Cuddle Cure: Here he has explained about how to combine the 5 S’s to calm even a colicky baby. The effect of massage therapy, the touch effect, the environment while massaging has been very clearly explained. In fact he has nicely managed to integrate the ancient knowledge with the modern outlook.

While Appendix – A details about when to call the Doctor? Appendix – B details about Top 10 survival tips to parents.

Even though the book is having very practical, proven guidance to the parents, there are lot of repetitions, fillers, parent’s testimonials, avoidable drawings which arrests the reader’s interest and makes them either skim through or do not read at all situation. This may end up with losing essential information. There could have been a more matured presentation, keeping in mind the brevity and the capsuled way of presentation needed for the present day fast world where every one finds shortage of time. But for this, the book is a must read for new parents with the kind of nuclear families we are witnessing wherein there is no ancient knowledge transfer.

*****

Teachers Role in Their Students Lives

     For a child, home is the first school which is its first world when everything new. So, parents model the child and see their mirrors in the child. The next exposure is the school. The teachers are the building blocks of the character, ideologies and the personalities of the child. Teacher is like a God to children. They even deny their parent's correction, if for some reason teacher has taught wrong. So, a teacher can influence the child with their looks, body language, knowledge about the subject, thier delivery which wraps her/his attitude, beliefs and values.

      Our face is our mind's index. Our culture, ethnicity and family values would have shaped us. Thus in all our behavior, attitude and believes are based on this and we emit the same. Thus, it is the onus of the teacher to be open for learning constantly, know every child's background, economically, physically, physiologically and ethnically to influence positively and aid in positive growth. Be impartial to any one culture or belief. An angry teacher though hard working and best in knowledge cannot expect the results which a mediocre teacher filled with love, care and compassion and  a philosophy in mind that they are the agents for bringing difference in the child. A reflective teacher always reflects on what went fine and what needs more attention, how to accomplish, compare versus peers like colleagues and teachers of other institutions. Every child is a very precious asset to their parents and parents send their children with loads of confidence and expectations that their child is well groomed and their children excel them. How a bitter pill when coated with sugar is popped up with all smiles, a teacher with good attitudes, believes and values can shape any child, any topic positively which gives a lot of pleasure and satisfaction to them too. While it is the responsibility of the parents to take care of their kids (which is numbered), a teacher takes care of innumerable students and helps in bringing societal changes.

      My father was a primary school head master and words are insufficient to express his love and dedication for his students. His students even after decades and being in high posts as IAS officers etc, the moment they see my father, will get down from their car and touch my father's feet to take his blessings.

      Similarly a negative attitude also can influence negatively and in the process the whole bunch of children become bad. 

Discipline Vs Punishment

       My father being an effective teacher, reared us with good practices. He ensured that all his children are highly effective. We in turn replicated those which we experienced with some more learning from our environment and nurtured our children in a friendly way to suit the changing scenario, making them good disciplinarians without their knowledge, making them know the consequences of any bad or unacceptable behavior. This made us not to undergo any stress with regard to children upbringing and not even the problems of teenage.

      When I heard from my instructor that the root for discipline is disciple that is one who follows. It was an extra dimension for my thinking. Really great info. When parents walk the talk, they are modelling and hand-holding children how to manage the life, when happy and also when unhappy. So according to me, the parents and in schools teachers should reflect on themselves and find out as to how they could manage their kids. A mindful act definitely contributes a lot to the society as these children bring laurels to the parents and the school. Discipline makes the children to have self-control, self-motivate, learn from experiences, develop responsibility, self-esteem and self-assertion. Allow the child to burn the hand is a famous dictum which makes the child to develop itself from its experiences. No child is good or bad by birth. It is the nurturing and the environment which makes it good or bad. My classmate in my schooling days had such great wonderful memory and used to excel every where but probably lack of parental attention ended up him being a high school drop out and with  a minuscule job. Disciplining is a positive way of rearing a child.

      Some parents are very happy using their high tone (verbal), spank or physical punishments thinking that their children will be under their control. This unwanted strictness may end up with an inferiority complex about the child itself or hatred about the parents may start. But when a child is too crazy or cranky, probably conditioning with penalties may help the child to correct itself. Not all children can learn from their mistakes. It needs some conditioning. But sometime rewarding is used a way of teaching the child which may end up with a demanding situation for the child to do its own work. Spare the rod and spoil the child is a famous adage which clearly says that punishment spoils a child.

      Children always never do whatever the parents ask them to do, they do whatever the parents do. So, discipline yourself and discipline your child is what I believe in.